Gambling News by Gambling Headquarters

If you were a con artist looking to separate an unsuspecting victim from his or her life savings, what is the first thing you would do? Get your target good and liquored up, of course. There's nothing like copious amounts of free booze to dull the senses, lower the defenses and cause you to throw caution to the wind. It is a cheap and effective way to soften your target for the big shakedown. Inhibitions melt away, common sense goes out the window. Let the fleecing begin! The Pennsylvania state legislature is doing its part to help. In the legalized flimflam game known as slots gambling, the last thing the parlors want are bettors with the sober good sense to quit when they're behind. And so they asked for permission to dole out as many free drinks as gamblers are willing to guzzle down. Inebriation has a wonderful way of making the loss of the family milk money seem like a brilliant idea. Lawmakers are citizens' representatives in government, elected to protect the public good. So a proposal to allow unlimited free drinks as long as you continue to feed the one-armed bandits would seem destined for unanimous defeat. Right? Not in the land of bilk and money. Chasing Vegas Lawmakers in both the state Senate and House of Representatives handily approved the booze last week. It may not be in the public's best interest, but it sure helps a few very important and influential constituents - namely, the slots operators. They argued they need to be able to give patrons free liquor to compete with other gambling states, where bottomless drinks are part of doing business. "It's necessary to make them competitive," Sen. Robert J. Mellow, the chamber's Democratic leader, told the Associated Press. "It's that way in all the states that have gambling."

And Lord knows we here in Pennsylvania aspire to be like those beacons of western civilization, Las Vegas and Atlantic City.

Anyone who has ever spent time in a slots parlor knows there are two basic life-forms drawn to them: the social gamblers who don't mind blowing $50 for the excitement of trying to beat astronomical odds. They know they most likely will leave poorer than they arrived, and they also know when to stop. They can handle a few free drinks, no problem.

It's the second life-form that worries me. These are the desperadoes. The working poor and fixed-income retirees who flock to the slots in hopes of betting their way into a better life. The old women on scooters and old men toting oxygen tanks. The young couples who take turns holding their babies out in the lobby while the other pumps in tokens waiting for the big jackpot that never comes.

Watching them, you have a sinking feeling they are betting money they can't afford to lose. Rent money, medicine money, heat money.

Sheep to slaughter

Many of the desperadoes, at least many of the ones I've spoken to, don't fully understand the huge odds against winning anything substantial. They are seduced by the flashing lights, whirring sirens and clanging chi-ching of coins dropping. They win just enough to keep pumping in more.

And when their pockets are empty, have no fear. An ATM is always nearby from which to draw out more cash.

Let's call slots what they really are: an invisible tax on the uneducated, vulnerable and downtrodden. They pay so the rest of us don't have to.

What could possibly be more irresponsible than to allow those who profit off these poor shlubs to get a free pass to ply them with unlimited alcoholic drinks? Drinks that make them even more prone to exploitation?

Men don't buy women drinks just to be nice, and neither do gambling operators. Both have ulterior motives, plain to see.

Many of these desperate gamblers already are like sheep being led to slaughter. Throw in five or six bourbons and see what happens. Instead of protecting the sheep, Pennsylvania's illustrious legislature is doing its part to deliver them to the wolves.

The free-booze bill next goes to Gov. Rendell, an enthusiastic cheerleader for slots gambling in Pennsylvania. If he vetoes it, the drinks are on me.